


Decipher

by bloodandcream



Series: Messages [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Porn, Dean watching his little brother in a gang bang porno, M/M, Masturbation, ah I think this turned out a bit angsty, and thinking about what they used to be, past Wincest / Weecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 01:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3156725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean didn’t even know where the scratchy motel towel had fallen, he didn’t care, his ass was sticking to the wood chair he sat in buck ass naked as he jacked off to a gang bang porn of his little brother. Sam was, yeah he was always good and always knew just what buttons to press and how hard on Dean, but this was, this was a whole nother level. Sam must have done this before, he thought, must have done this sort of thing, with other guys. He was just like some kind of toy in all their hands, turning this way and that wherever they moved him, his mouth hanging open for any cock that wanted to push inside, up on his hands and knees as several guys kneeled behind him licking and pressing their fingers into him. They were all big guys, the sort of ones with muscles that they got at the gym. They had them, they probably didn’t know how to use them, they were bodies that were for show. Sam was taller than all but one of them, but on his knees on the floor he just looked so much smaller.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decipher

Dean shoved the last of a greasy egg mcmuffin in to his mouth as he crinkled the paper up and tossed it towards the waste basket in the corner of the motel room. Wiping his hands on his jeans he took a break from reading useless articles on his laptop to check his email. Spam, spam, spam, wait what the fuck. 

There was an email from Sam. Dean had barely talked to his brother since Sam had taken off for Stanford. He’d punched Sam’s phone number in to his cell and stared it a few times, but he couldn’t bring himself to call. Dean knew if he heard Sam’s voice on the other end, well he’d end up in California somehow. They’d emailed a few times. During the holidays. Although the holidays had never really been a big deal for them, or they tried to make it like that, Dean still used the excuse to check up on Sam. 

This was, jesus christ this looked like a link to a pay per view porn site. Dean would assume that it was spam, but it came from Sam’s email, and with the message attached - well he’s not too sure what this is supposed to mean. He’d click on it, but there’s no way in hell he’s bringing that up on his laptop with his dad showering in the bathroom. He’s supposed to be doing research for whatever the fuck kind of monster can turn a person’s insides to liquified mush, not surfing the web and checking out suspicious links his little brother sends him. 

-

_It had been a pretty fucking shitty night. Dean had been getting closer to a cute cheerleader, Carla, and she had given him an open with ‘my parents are out of town’. They’d made out on her couch, moved things upstairs to the bedroom, and after at least a solid hour of kissing and groping they were just getting to the good part. Dean had taken off his shirt, and he was going to take off hers but Carla was looking at him wide eyed and biting her lip, and Dean, well he asked her what was wrong._

_There were tears involved, a confession of virginity, a little hugging, and yeah Dean needed to high tail it out of there because awkward. He’d lost his virginity two years ago when he was fourteen to a senior in a town he doesn’t even remember the name of. He backs up, he gives Carla her space, but they’re not going out, they’re not dating, in a few weeks he’ll probably be out of town so he lets her deal with her own thing._

_One small consolation, is that Sam is out for the night at a friends house and Dad’s been off on a hunt in a nearby town for almost a week now. So Dean’s got the whole night to himself. And he’d filched a porn video recently. It’s usually just his right hand a good magazine, not a whole lot of private time to watch something on the staticy small tv in the living room of the tiny house they’ve got rented for a few months._

_Jeans pushed down his thighs, t-shirt bunched up around his waist, Dean was enjoying a nice slow jerk off session to a blond chick with fake tits getting pounded from behind when he hears the click of the front door. Sam dumps his backpack down and just stares._

_“Really Dean?”_

_Shoving himself back in his pants and nearly tripping to jump up and cross the room to turn the tv off, Dean scowled at his little brother._

_“Thought you were going to be out all night?”_

_“Yeah, well, so did I and I get to come home to this.”_

_“You didn’t call me for a ride.”_

_“I just walked.”_

_Sam tossed his coat over a chair and picked his bag up, trundling past Dean and staring more than he likes._

-

Several days later after they finish off the hunt, his dad decided to go off on a bender or whatever he does when he disappears for a few days to celebrate a victory, leaving Dean to his own devices and their motel room with a fake credit card. God, he doesn’t think he can shower enough after getting spattered with monster goo. Towel around his waist, alone and bored, Dean sat down on the chair at the rickety table and opened his lap top up. 

He still had Sam’s email. The one with the link. Clicking on it, Dean knew he was right when he was redirected to a porn site, but it’s bypassed the pay part and gone straight to the full video. It started up right away, a handheld camera shaking just a little as it went into a bedroom and Dean would recognize the boy sitting with his back to the camera any day. Even if his hair is pulled up in stupid pig tails. What he doesn’t expect is for Sammy to turn to the camera and smile, his lips shining and his nails are pink where they dangle off the back of the chair. When he stands he’s wearing a little skirt and there’s a piercing in his belly button. 

Holy shit. 

Dean just wants to put his mouth all over his brother’s body and suck on his cute little piercing. His belly is flat but it’s getting definition, he looks healthier than the last time Dean saw him, still fucking wiry but filling out. Sam smiles and flirts with the camera guy and they go down a hallway to a room where six huge beefy guys are waiting. 

Fucking seriously. 

The first thing Dean wonders is if Sam is having money problems, if he’s been pressured or roped in to this. Sam’s all on his own. When he was a few years younger he could only live on pilfered credit cards for a few weeks with a stray dog. What’s he going to do now, huh, now that he’s on his own, now that he’s got school to pay for and he’s trying to do it all by himself like the stubborn little shit that he is. But Dean knows Sam better than that. If he wanted, he’d get a legit job and he’d figure it out the smart way. No, the coy little smile he gives the camera, the way he leans in to the hands touching him, the way he turns around and shakes his ass and lifts his skirt, Dean knows what a porn star faking it looks like and this isn’t it. 

So what is this, huh. Dean wonders if Sam is just trying to get back at him somehow, in some twisted fucked up way because Dean hasn’t called him and hasn’t gone to visit him. Is this Sam just saying hey Dean, look at this, look at how much I don’t need you, don’t miss you. No, that’s not what the single line message that he sent was. 

What the fuck is this. 

-

_The minute Dean turned eighteen he dropped out of college to hunt and find odd jobs to take better care of Sam. Their father didn’t even disagree with him, not even an obligatory protest that his son was dropping out of high school. In fact, it seems to lift a weight off their dad’s shoulders, who goes out to hunts farther from whatever shithole their renting and stays away longer._

_Sam’s new at high school and he has better things to worry about. He asks Dean about what girls like, about how to act around them, he asks Dean how you’re supposed to ask a girl out and how to kiss them. Dean gave him skin mags and condoms and probably the most awkward talk about the birds and the bees ever._

_His little brother was still small, scrawny, and he was a scrappy little shit no doubt, but he only came up to Dean’s nipples and he still had something sweet in his smile that Dean hoped was never wiped away. Sometimes he loved his brother too much it hurt, and he knew he couldn’t protect Sam from every single evil thing out there that would hurt his brother, but god did he want to try. It wasn’t about Dean, and what he could or couldn’t have, it was about Sam._

_Some nights he brought girls home, some nights he brought guys home, and he always tried to be quiet, but yeah, yeah Sam knew what was going on and he was old enough to handle it. Or maybe Dean was just too immature and selfish to be taking care of his little brother. Either way, it was what it was. One Friday night after Dean had come home from work with beer he bought with a fake ID and Sam had tucked his books away and they were playing a stupid card game in the ugly windowless kitchen, Sam had somehow ended up with a beer and Dean had ended up watching the way his pink lips curled around the neck of the bottle._

_Sam wanted Dean to teach him how to kiss. He said he’d tried it once with a girl and it didn’t feel right. That Dean would know better. And Dean had laughed at him, head tipped back as his chair scraped on the linoleum, he laughed at Sam and the way his little brother tried to look at him, tried to lower his voice but it cracked._

_Then his lap was full of Sam and there were stick arms wrapping around his neck and it was warm. It was warm and sweet and soft and all the things Dean wasn’t really sure he knew how to be but it was brother. It was the one person he loved most in his life. And that was just the truth of it._

-

Dean didn’t even know where the scratchy motel towel had fallen, he didn’t care, his ass was sticking to the wood chair he sat in buck ass naked as he jacked off to a gang bang porn of his little brother. Sam was, yeah he was always good and always knew just what buttons to press and how hard on Dean, but this was, this was a whole nother level. 

Sam must have done this before, he thought, must have done this sort of thing, with other guys. He was just like some kind of toy in all their hands, turning this way and that wherever they moved him, his mouth hanging open for any cock that wanted to push inside, up on his hands and knees as several guys kneeled behind him licking and pressing their fingers into him. They were all big guys, the sort of ones with muscles that they got at the gym. They had them, they probably didn’t know how to use them, they were bodies that were for show. Sam was taller than all but one of them, but on his knees on the floor he just looked so much smaller. 

His hair was messy and long, his body was smooth stretches of taut skin, his fingers curled and pulled around their cocks as he choked on one and someone started fucking his ass. Dean wanted, he didn’t know what he wanted but he wanted. He wanted to take every single one of those guys out and he wanted to join them, he wanted Sam all to himself and he wanted to see him so thoroughly fucking used and looking way too good like that. Like he loved it, like that’s where he belonged. And Dean, he never knew quite where his brother belonged because it definitely wasn’t with him and dad, but shit, when the kid had run away to college Dean didn’t think this was where he’d end up. 

His bright hazel eyes looked glazed over when the camera moved in to show his blushing face, his lips stretched around a cock, spit dripping down his chin and nostrils flaring. He rocked with the motion of everyone, churning and shoving and jostling as they all took and took. Sam ended up laying on another guy while someone pushed his legs wide and oh, oh god there were two cocks in his ass, stretched so fucking wide and Sam just moaned like it was the best thing in the world. 

Dean had to stop stroking his cock because he was already so fucking close to coming. His baby brother was getting used like some kind of toy by six guys and it was one of the hottest pornos he’d ever watched. 

-

_Dean was sore from a long day of work and eating a burned grilled cheese sandwich by himself on the couch in the living room because the kitchen light wouldn’t stop flickering. There was something on the tv but he wasn’t even paying enough attention to say what. Sam was at a friend’s, probably studying or doing whatever good little sophomore’ do. The kid made friends pretty easy. Course, they always went fast, but Sam could adapt, could pick it back up in another town with other people. People were all the same one place to another. There were certain kinds. Just had to know what to look for, what you needed, but names were as interchangeable as faces._

_He heard the door open and looked up, swallowing a bite, to see Sam turning the deadbolt and putting the chain on. When he stepped in to the room, Dean saw a busted lip and a black eye, and he was on his feet in a second._

_“Fuck, Sammy, what the hell, what happened?”_

_“So my friend Nick….”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“We’re kind of boyfriends, or, we were.”_

_“What?”_

_“I just uh, he wanted something I didn’t want to give so I punched him.”_

_Dean pulled Sam closer in the warm apartment, gently prodding his face, making sure it was fine and cupping his head when Sam leaned in a little closer._

_“You all right?”_

_“Yeah, De, yeah, I’m fine.”_

_Dean backed him up to the couch and pulled him down, the both of them sinking into the sagging foam cushions that groaned with their weight._

_“You need me to take care of this Sammy, you say the word.”_

_“It’s fine.”_

_“What did - no you know what you don’t have to talk about it. You want dinner?”_

_“He wanted me to suck his cock.”_

_Dean stared at his brother._

_“I didn’t want to. Cause. Well, I’ve never before, but…”_

_Christ, Sam was only fifteen. Oh wait, Dean was doing this shit when he was fifteen too. Fuck, sometimes he felt like he needed to keep Sam in a safe little bubble that he forgot all the shit he’d gotten up to himself. Dean was going to say, it’s okay, good for you Sam, only ever do what you want to do, but then his little brother was tipping forward and pulling at Dean’s belt._

_“The fuck Sammy.”_

_He didn’t push Sam away though._

_“He’s not really what I want, De, just a poor substitution.”_

-

Most of the porn that Dean looked up was pretty fucking vanilla. He’d seen a few girls doing double penetration, but he hadn’t really looked up a guy doing it. He’d looked up plenty of threesome porn. But this, was on a whole ‘nother level. God, and the way that Sam sounded, he knew those sounds, at least he knew some of them. The way his breath hitched and he groaned in a long drawn out sort of way, the surprised little grunts. Dean was glad he had all the time to indulge in this alone so he could turn the volume up, listen to the way Sam gagged and slurped on a thick cock, the squelch of two dicks fucking in to his ass, the sharp crack of skin to skin and Sam’s confused little whines when he was pulled up and turned around in to a new position. 

Oh he was going to hell, there was no ifs ands or buts about it. Dean watched wide eyed and amazed when the last guy, the really big black guy, pulled Sam in to his lap. His cock was way too big to be fitting in there. Sometimes Dean had to ask if these guys were really that big, or if there was some trick to it, but as he watched Sam being slowly lowered down on to it a little at a time, until the guy was pushing his hips up in to Sam’s body and his brothers stomach started to bulge out, Dean didn’t know why that turned him on so much but he was glued to the screen. 

Leaning back in the chair, one hand squeezing his balls while he stroked his dick furiously, mesmerized watching his little brother get used like that all dazed and loose and just fucking taking it, Dean grunted when he came hard spattering all the way up to his neck and drawing it out stroking through his orgasm. He panted and curled his hand around his cock sliding in his own come while he watched five different guys jizz all over Sam’s face, and shit it was so filthy and so hot Dean felt his stomach twitching and his dick trying to get interested again. When the camera moved down to the absolute fucking mess they’d made of Sam’s ass, all stretched out gaping and red and dripping, Dean slammed his lap top shut. 

He stood on shaky legs and cleaned himself up in the bathroom, getting a beer from the fridge even though it was still morning, wondering what Sam was doing right at that moment. Dean really couldn’t stay away for very long. He went back to his laptop and checked out the page that video was posted on. There were others with Sam in it, five of them total. Dean swiped a hand over his mouth and scowled at the screen, angrily drinking his beer and feeling like a pervert before grabbing his wallet. He paid for a membership to the site, or at least, one Ronald Bright’s credit card did, and Dean started watching every other video that had Sam in it. 

There was a double penetration video with two guys that Dean recognized from that gang bang video, and after a half hour Dean was pulling on his cock getting another erection as he watched them fucking Sam rough while his brother hung on and moaned so sweet. There was a video of just Sam and one guy, where Sam was wearing panties and thigh highs and make up, getting his nipples played with till they were swollen and red and there were bruises all down his chest from biting, and Sam wore his little lacey panties the whole time but they were ripped up and come stained by end. 

Dean kept clicking on video after video, watching every one that had Sam in it, watching his little brother do this again and again and again. 

-

_The summer that Sam was sixteen was a crazy blur of heat and sex and a weird sort of suspended freedom that they’d never really known before. Their dad had left them, and made it clear that the next job he was taking would be a long one. Dean had a job at an auto garage and Sam had gotten a job at a fast food joint, and they had rented a little run down house all to themselves. Dean drove Sam to work in the Impala, and even though he was only sixteen, they spent their weekends drinking beer together and counting lightening bugs._

_They had moved here after school had already let out, so Sam didn’t have any study buddies from school, and Dean was way too fixed on his brother that without even realizing it he hadn’t tried to pick up any girls or guys. They pretty much lived in a little bubble of just the two of them without realizing that they were shutting the rest of the world out._

_They had sex for the first time that summer. Not just hand jobs on the couch or blow jobs that were sloppy and way too good. Dean had laid Sam out and licked him open and fingered him until Sam was almost crying, and had pushed in to him face to face slow and steady and it was almost too gentle, it drove them both mad, but it was so so good and he couldn’t believe how right it felt. He wanted to treat Sam well, wanted his brother to know how much he loved him without having to say the words, because really, it was the wrong kind of love._

_They ended up going wild, alone and lonely except for each other. They fucked bent over the kitchen table, pressed up against the wall, wet and slippery in the shower. Dean loved to lay Sam out and fuck him face to face so he could push Sam’s legs up to his ears, and he was so fucking bendy, just pulling his legs up and resting his elbows on the backs of his thighs, so open, so pliant, just for Dean._

_It all ground to a halt when their dad came back, when Sam started school again. They stopped. They stopped everything and it was so jarring, like it had never happened, and Dean didn’t know what to make of that._

-

He took a break for lunch, he had to go out and get some food, a wilted sandwich from the corner store and the cheapest plastic bottle of vodka that they had. Dean even picked up a pack of cigarettes, and he avoided going back in his motel room by loitering outside smoking, waiting for anything else to happen. But he did go back, opened his laptop up again and started looking at the other videos. 

Dean masturbated another three times, watching the sketchy internet porn videos of his little brother. The earlier ones were definitely a lower quality, as far as the camera work went. The very first one was your standard guy on guy, blow job to rimming to fucking roughly. Sam was blushing and babbling and Dean could see all his tells about how nervous he was, the way his fingers twitched and he kept screwing his mouth up a certain way. 

He probably shouldn’t get so turned on, should probably be worried for his little brother. But god he wasn’t. Dean watched them all, and he sat there in a post orgasmic haze of fuzzy uncertainty for what exactly he should do about this. About Sam’s email. About the fact that his brother thought it would be a good idea to send a link to a gang bang porno that he did. 

Should Dean go out to California, ask him straight up, or maybe give him a call? See, Dean couldn’t manage for the life of him to decipher just what exactly Sam was trying to tell him by sending the link to this shit. Dean had always known what Sam needed, or at least he thought he had, until Sam had run away. What was this supposed to mean? 

_Look at what I get up to without you._

_You see what I am Dean, what I need._

_Why don’t you come back, why don’t you follow me._

_I don’t need you._

_I miss you._

-

_They didn’t really get up to much after that one summer. Shit, Dean was twenty one, he was actually legally able to purchase alcohol. He was legal for a whole lot of things, and Sam, Sam was still in high school. Sam was still studying and trying to make friends with kids his own age, and getting roped in to the easier hunts but bitching about it the whole way._

_Nah, Sam didn’t need him and it would be best if Dean could be the fucking adult that he was supposed to be and back the fuck off. So that’s what he did. He ignored his brother, the way Sam gravitated towards him, the things Sam did to try and get his attention. Dean ignored it._

_He couldn’t help feeling like a whole lot of it - like maybe all of it - was his fault when Sam went off to be a normal college kid at Stanford. The night that he had left, Dean didn’t like to admit but he cried harder that night than he could ever remember having done. Shit, but Sam was just, was so much of his life, so much of his purpose, that he wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to do without having to look after the kid. Their dad scowled and he broke shit and he got drunk and he ranted but at the end of the day the only thing Dean really heard from him was ‘good riddance.’_

-

Jesus, it was getting dark already and Dean was sitting naked and sticky in the same chair, feeling too stiff and too wrung out. He had been staring blankly at his laptop for a little while. He’d already watched every video he could find with Sam in it, and now he was staring at the email that his brother had sent him with the original link in it. 

Dean wanted to drive out to California. He wanted to make sure that Sam was whole and safe and happy. He wanted to ask about his school work, and if he had met anyone nice outside of porn. He wanted to take Sam out to a bar for a few drinks and some fried food and a game of pool. God there were so many fucking things that he wanted, and Dean knew that he couldn’t have any of them. 

For whatever fucking reason Sam was sending him this, the fact still stood that Sam had left. Sam had been the one to run away. Sam had moved on. Whether it was dad, or the life, or Dean, there was something that made Sam leave and Dean was still all tied up in it. He couldn’t help thinking sometimes, that it was all him, that he’d gone too far and taken advantage of his little brother that looked up at him with idolizing eyes and a desire for his acknowledgement. Maybe Dean was the only reason that Sam had left in the first place. Just him. Whatever it was, nothing had really changed for Dean. Maybe it had for Sam, but Dean was the same person and he was doing the same old things. So he typed up a quick one line message to answer Sam instead of just leaving him hanging, and pressed send before he could chicken out. 

_I got nothing for you Sammy._


End file.
